Not your ordinary endless list of half witicism - just what's number 1.
The janitor. Better still, the head janitor.
I kid you not. It's the most important secret out there and I've just let the cat out of the bag.
The janitor knows everyone and knows everything! Need a new desk, poof! Need some extra heat? Poof! Need a shoulder to lean on and who won't go blabbering to everyone else (because who cares about the janitor or gives him the time of day?)....
There is simply no better friend at school than the janitor. You'll remember my words when you've lost your keys or need a strong/neutral arm to grab that uncontrollable kid. Janitors are a teacher's best friend. But don't tell everyone at your school!